how I spent my 24th bday

08/28/31 , 23:59 : sitting on my mac, thinking... waiting... "in any second now...."

08/29/2014, 00:00
Holy eff! I'm 24! I couldn't think of any way to celebrate it than to pray. Thank HIM for the blessings and the yet another year in my life. Ask for his guidance for my faith, family, career and studies.

Few more minutes and birthday greetings came in. I'm still on my laptop an hour and so because I have to finish my class report (which I killed it and a made a bus stop and wait, but that's for another story). I put on my birthday suit and slept.

I got bday greeting on social media, some really made an effort to call and greet me. There are people I am shock to remember about my bday (read: exes) and people on my social media list that I never really had a chance to personally know of (yet). Nonetheless, I felt loved! =)

Took kuya to lunch at this resto bar just below my condo. Spent the whole day working, it's Friday and I'm glad it's TGIF andy bday fell (finally) on pay day Friday. 15:00 I watched a movie. 17:30, I took a nap. 18:00 went on for a workout. Maestro and trainors greeted me. Nothing makes me happy than a productive day. A day done right - like I always say.

Plans for the evening was to go to cloud 9, Antipolo to see the metro manila skyline with a beer in a hand and people close to me. But it didn't happen. Everybody seemed to be busy or might've forgotten it. Anyway, it's ok. I still have this intuition that it might not push through and I'm fully aware about the upcoming disappointment - always the skeptic me. Anyway, I spent the night with my S.O., it's a but ad hoc but with the heavy traffic and rainy weather, we figured that it's best to stay in. We had a French night: wine, cheese, raisin, cracker, roasted chicken then we grabbed Chinese.. Mon said I should eat pansit - any kind to lengthen my life. Funny But I did it anyway. Followed by a steamy ... You know it is ;)


Frugal, fluid and productive. That's how I summarized it.

Blue French horn

So I watched the show we always watch together, every piece of the story somewhat correlates to what we have, what we used to and what we once believed in.


So in the part where Marshall wants Ted to chase Robin, he said somewhere along the lines of...


If this is 8 years ago, I will jump into a cab and steal the Blue french horn. But right now, it's not how it works anymore.

It makes me sad to think that try as I might, I cannot feel the same love I once have for you.. it's terrible and heartbreaking that every time I open my heart to you, you'll open my eyes and see that you and I are in a different state of our life where our goals don't met - a truly irreconcilable indifference.


Then he continue saying,

I'm always in a hurry, like everything is urgent. I'm not going anywhere, she's not going anywhere.. if it's going to happen, it'll happen. What's the rush?



But you see, I might only use these phrase to turn you down gently. I'm sorry.

[Future] date me in a coffee shop

I wanna get high with you on caffeine and experience the lows as we crash down.

Feel our hearts beat faster and slower at the same time

be extremely energetic like no one can hold us down

I wanna see your eyes dilate like you're in a candy shop, feel the adrenaline rush rising up.

we'll share stories and inside joke over the cup of coffee and you, just right across the table

exchanging smiles sweeter than latte; our face beaming and basking at the sun dawn

i'll be holding your hands when you palpitate cuz i know you cant hold your caffeine down

and who wants to go down from this height? Im sure neither of us.

Have a date with me on a cafe because I want to feel this is real,

just like how the kick of the coffee makes me feel that I conquer the world,

I feel the same when I'm with you, actually a thousand fold.

5 tell tale signs she's the one you're taking home.

I've shared beds with exes with HER, twice.. and now recently on its second time, on the ride.
Even though I'm having inner monologue's like: "where should we dispose her body?" I'm gonna play a no brainer cue on how to know who's she goin to take w/ her home. Fo' sho'!

1. The girl who selflessly gave up the front seat 'cuz after all it's about who's the driver's gonna take w/ her home right?

2. The ex who's acting like the co pilot of the driver... The GPS, the direction seeker & asker, the one who pays the gas so you can leisurely went home after your horrendous tantrum.

3. The one who sings on every after track like as if she knows the part where the driver smash her steering wheel when that perfect beat comes in.

4. The one who has the most inside jokes. Especially those out of nowhere. There's nothing like a in-your-face passive aggressive insult than showing how you and HER are sooo compatible. #burn

5. Roads and memories. If these two had been to more places than you and her had - guuuurl.... You better step back cuz this is her drift! Ain't nobody goin to topple w/ the first who shared the road junkie highs with her!


There you had it. 'nuff said. Now eat dirt as while me, I'm gonna pass the heck out after that 4-hr ride..... in HER arms.

Curly cues

me staring at the mirror as I'm doing my hair


I suddenly remember that person who always admire these curly cues. Her fingers slowly caress my nape and my eyes instantly rolls back as I have frivolous amusement on that sensation.


I hate that stare I had when I snapped back into the reality. That's how memories fucks my day.


Better continue packing up my shit to Bataan. (Oh, Bataan)

If I were to describe where we are now..

Sweet nothing. False hope. Fleeting moment.

These are what we both are best of making each other. One moment you can send me in a roller coaster but we can get by the next day without talking to each other. We kept throwing cautions in the wind, we are vanishing in the thin air along with your regretful sigh.

I miss being inlove

Yes, I miss being inlove.... A lot! But I miss being in love with you. A lot of things had changed between us, individually. I cannot honestly say until when my 2nd-chance-giving well ran out. All I know is that when I hold your hand, when you stare at me, when u cup you in my embrace and when we kiss - I'm home.


Cuz it's always you. Us. I'd been down different roads and I don't regret searching on those places but I know for myself, deep down, I already found it. This tired soul is WAITING....