Thursday, January 2, 2014

Sawdust memories will serve as a sand to my sleep

So hey. It's been quite sometime since I wrote something in this blog. I needed to get this off my chest.... I can't sleep thinking about our phone conversation earlier: you asked me why I'm being cold. I tried explaining myself despite that I told you "I don't know how to answer that" that maybe because I seize the moment that we're together and detach myself every time we're not.

See, it is YOU who is not committed and it is quite a pain to hear it all in a demanding-regretful voice. Is this really all we could ever be?

Earlier I'm talking to a good friend of mine who notices about our vacation picture just a few days ago, the reunion with your. cousins 'cuz after all, you told me, that I am still the girl whom you introduced to your family. I love the memories we made, specially the one that when I told you I wanna be with you. You told me a terrible reason why you're still with her and I didn't bought it. Going back to that old friend of mine, he told me he doubted that I will ever take you out of the picture. I agreed by saying somewhere along these lines: "She will never be a past for me. I might actually end up marrying her someday, I just don't know."



P.s.
Never take my silence as an ignorance nor my calmness as acceptance. It takes so much of me to keep these demons inside.

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